Pr!ya

2006-01-27T15:47:00.000-08:00

Itz mah burdai...every1 wuzhed me...lotaz greeting cardz ! mah badii rowdiee sent me 17 cardz ! lolz mah fav one wuz da shout !! it wuz rele cool ! fanx a lot rowz ! ;) all mah frnz frm orkut wuzhed me...not all cuz sum dun eva noe dat i hav a new prof ! da 1st one to wuzh me at 12:02 am wuz mah bro karr..he had called me frm work...thn it started pilin up one afta otha...mom, dad, mah fisk frnz...

I had falled asleep ryt abt 2 am but i wuz awaken by a call...da # luked lyk frm CA...thawght it wuz rowdie lolz but guez who? da otha side of da fone "elooo....hey habee burdai..." i wuz lyk..."umm ye fanx" stul tryin to figure out who it wuz...i wuz haf asleep...udai? venkiee?? no idea...lolz "itz me naveen...how r u? wut tym is it ova der?"

Im finkin...aww bachoo...idiot...do u noe wut tym it is ova here?? "umm itz around 3 am...."
Bachoo: " r u sleepy?? u want me to call u later?"
Me finkin " of course idiot..."
Me: "No...no...im fyn...we can talk...**yawn** or u wna call me later?"
Navz: "Sure, no problem"
Me finkin "awww poor guy....dun wana waste hiz money **angel**
Me: "No, u dun hav to...we wul talk onlyn....how much per min it cost u?"
Navz: "umm itz abt lyk 3 bukz"
Me finkin "daz it? i wuzh ! lolz"
Me: "fanx a lot navz fo callin...we wul c onlyn"
Navz: "bye"

I cud hav spoke to him a lil longer...i wuz juz a lil sleepy...=D + mah mom wuz chattinn wit me last nyt n slept in mah room...n wen i wuz talkin...she had woken up n i din wana give more to her cuz she has all da bad stuff abt me now =D =P

Newyz itz almost 6 15 pm here....i had got wuzhez frm every1....xcept mah dear onez....who i thawght wul call me first...but din eva bother to drop a lyn !

*Star
*Jeuz
*Riz [ he atleast wuzhed me da nyt b4 ]
*Rose

Im rele hurt....mah throatz all dry...u noe da feelin im tellin, dun u? how can they foget mah burdai?? i duno...but im juz hurt....

2006-01-16T10:43:00.001-08:00

I rememba da 1st dai of mah drivin on da road....it wuz abt 2:20 a.m n i believe it wuz a saturdai nyt...der wuz not much traffic...me n mah mom had finallie convinced mah bro n he let me drive afta he came frm work...I put mah seatbelt on n I felt a sudden rush in me...I wuz redi to attack da Gallatin ! I wuz drivin very slow...mebe around 10 n mah bro told me " maintain thiz speed " I wuz lyk...wtf ! i cant keep drivin lyk thiz n I tuk da speed....I had got da balance n I wuz drivin....drivin....lolz i had gone very far....mom n mah bro were talkin n it seemed fun n i wuz lyk...oo ye ! i can get mah license da next dai ! heheh Afta an hr or so, guez who wuz behind me ! it wuz a cop ! lolz i wuz shakin...oh god ! i havnt eva got mah license yet, i fina get a ticket alredi?? We were waitin in da car fo abt lyk 5 minz b4 a ladiee cop got out...she had one of her hand on her gun n she asked me, " I wuz wonderin y u were drivin so slow" I wuz lyk =D lolz Mah bro told her dat I wuz juz learnin n it wuz mah 1st dai..actulie nyt it wuz ! =P n she told us da reason fo her to stop us wuz dat mah hi beam wuz on ! Mah bro wuz lyk...uhh y did u turn dat on? I dun eva noe wut hi beam wuz n din noe how to turn thm on ! lolz Later we found he wuz da one who turned thm on ;) The cop said Adioz n wuzhed me luck n asked me to drive within da speed limit [ we wul c to dat afta i get mah license, ryt? ;)]

2006-01-16T10:43:00.000-08:00

2005-12-13T23:47:00.000-08:00

It is mah last week at F.U. I din rele lyk da skoo but i fina muzz da frnz a looooot ! I juz din wana go out ne more....i wuz juz stuk wit mah computer.... I din eva tell ne1 dat im levin...I juz told few of thm n they rele mad at me ! do i rele hafta go !? =( No, I duno, but i fink I hafta go =(( Wul muzz Fisk ! Cant tell FU nemore ! it wul b profanity ! =/ Ooo wel ! I din eva talk to Jeuz fo 2 daiz ! n she thawght dat I wuz mad her or sumfing....she din call me eitha. I met Shiva onlyn n he wuz lyk --> wut happened wit u n jeuz? u guyz had a fyt? cum ova to mah office tomrow...we gota talk...i wuz lyk WTF ! How cum I got into a fyt witout me noein !? =/ I asked him n he told me to cum tomrow to huz office...of course I cant wait dat long ! i wuz ..u betta tell me ! Awww but Jeuz wuz juz worried cuz i dint call her....I felt bad...i shudve called her but I dint...I been doin ccraziee stuff these daiz ! quittin mah job witout tellin thm ! [ i noe daz bad ] being up late on comp n talkiin tupid stuff ! GOSH ! I gota stop doin all these stuff ! I got responsiblitiez yet I dun do thm ! I feeeeeeeel soooooo tupid fo stuff Im doin ryt now ! I dun fink itz tym fo confessin yet...wul do dat afta mah resultz cum out n mah mom beatz me enuf...I wul b sooooooooooo dead ! All I noe I hafta stop ! Grrr

2005-12-12T19:34:00.000-08:00

13 signs of falling in love.....

13. When your on the phone with them late at night and they hang up but you miss them already when it was just five minutes ago

12. You read their texts over and over again...

11. You walk really slow when you're with them...

10. You feel shy whenever you're with them...

9. When you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster...

8. You smile when you hear their voice...

7. When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you... all you see is him/her...

6. You start listening to slow songs, while thinking of them...

5. They become all you think about...

4. You get high just from their scent...

3. You realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about them...

2. You would do anything for them...

1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time.....

2005-12-10T21:16:00.000-08:00

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey

Name: Priya Prabakar
Birthday: Jan. 27th, 1989

Birthplace: Chennai, India

Current Location: Nashville, TN

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Brown

Height: 5' 7"

Right Handed or Left Handed: Righty

Your Heritage: South indian

The Shoes You Wore Today: Adidas

Your Weakness: Computers, Computers
Your Fears: GOD

Your Perfect Pizza: Chicken, extra cheese, and mushrooms

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Try to pass all mah freakin classez !

Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lolz

Thoughts First Waking Up: Do i rele hafta get up ?!
Your Best Physical Feature: Ummm my hair?! i dunno

Your Bedtime: 2 or 3 am

Your Most Missed Memory: Being wit mah familie....crakin up wen ditchin othaz =D
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi !

MacDonalds or Burger King: Mickey Ds

Single or Group Dates: Ummm single dates are romantic..group dates are fun

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton

Chocolate or Vanilla: Choco Baby !

Cappuccino or Coffee:ugh neither! that mess is gross

Do you Smoke: No thank you

Do you Swear: I try not to..but do it all da tym !
Do you Sing: Yep wen no1z around !

Do you Shower Daily: Yes sir, twice

Have you Been in Love: Yea...=/

Do you want to go to College: Already der buddy

Do you want to get Married: Yea and raise me a lil family

Do you belive in yourself: I guez
Do you get Motion Sickness: Not rele..
Do you think you are Attractive: Nope im average

Are you a Health Freak: Nah...
Do you get along with your Parents: Not rele
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yep Yep !!
Do you play an Instrument: Nah...not mah fing

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No..im not on all that

In the past month have you Smoked: Nope..daz nasty

In the past month have you been on Drugs: No..ima clean one

In the past month have you gone on a Date: No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yea...hell lota tymz ! lol

In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Of course ! no lyf witout oreos !
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yuck ! get dat shyt away frm me !
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yep

In the past month have you been Dumped: Nope

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No

In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No

Ever been Drunk: Hell no !
Ever been called a Tease: Umm yea =D
Ever been Beaten up: the fwah i look like?! lolz

Ever Shoplifted: Dun need to
How do you want to Die: In a bed surrounded by my family

What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A doctor...cardiologist
What country would you most like to Visit:Paris, France...i heard shoppin there is freakin amazing!

In a Boy/Girl..

Favourite Eye Color: anything dark

Favourite Hair Color: dark

Short or Long Hair: short

Height: tall...but not too tall lol

Weight: umm not too skinny, not too fat

Best Clothing Style: polos, forces, and fitted hats!!! daz sexy!!

Number of Drugs I have taken: None

Number of CDs I own: i juz burn thm
Number of Piercings:2...in my ears..
Number of Tattoos:none

Number of things in my Past I Regret: quite a few

2005-10-10T21:10:00.000-07:00

Im not alwayz lyk this ---> : :x
I got feelinz fo u but i cant tell...i cant xpress cuz im scared...dat u myt lev me...dat i wud not b able to b wit u...cuz i neva rele been wit u n those who i had told them i luv thm...had gonee...gonee...i neva c them again...i dun want dat to happen btw us...cuz i luv u...mom, i luv dad, i luv karr, i luv rose....i wunt let nefing happen to u guyz...cuz i luv u...juz lyk every1 else...
U myt fink i myt do tupid stuff wit mah frnz...but mom, i wud neva...itz not cuz of u...cuz u neva thought me none of those stuf....dad, it aint cuz of u eitha...cuz u were too bzz workin....karr, not cuz of u, cuz u neva were around me...itz not cuz of u rose, cuz u were alwayz givin me chocolatez...but not advicez...i kno u guyz r protective....but...im more protective....i fink a lot more than u all do...cuz i had no1 to tell wut wuz gud n bad....eva if i wuz told, i wuznt b believe them...so every1z traitorz...cheatorz....but mom, dad, karr, rose....i wul u guyz chooo much...i wudnt tell u guyz dat now....but rememba....im short tempered n i wudnt let none happen to u guyz....if sum1 doez dat or eva finkz abt it....they duno me wel...cuz derz a otha side of me.....dat only u 4 hav seen...da one whp fought wit 5 guyz once n got my fingerz cut cuz they were puttin gurlz down...i wud neva let nefing happen to sum1 whom i luv...dat includez u all....sweety...matty....star...riz...rabz...tubz....every1 dat i luv !

2005-10-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

A day of remembrance
Everyone was excited about the jubilee day and was looking forward for it. The day had begun and the Fisk Alumnus had started to arrive. Everyone was dressed in their best and soon the chapel was filled with current students, facilities and alumnus. The murmurs stopped when Mr. Williams, who was the visiting artist in Residence, began to play his organ. Then, slowly, the President and other major faculty members arrived as we stood to honor them.
The program began by the invocation by Reverend Dr. Jason Curry, Dean of the Chapel. He gave us brief information about the programs for the day and introduced the next speaker. It was the Mayor, City of Nashville, and Honorable William Purcell. I was surprised to hear him say that he had come to the same chapel on his first day as a mayor. He had spoken to the President and expressed himself by stating he wanted to start off his work at Fisk. Mr. Will J. Carter, class of ’57 and the Chairman of General Alumni association of Fisk University continued by insisting everyone to be active in the Association after the graduation.
Ms. Marshelle Brook ’06, President of Student Government Association, spoke us about the jubilee singers and about their fame all around the world. She seemed to be nervous, which surprised me. The introduction of the guest speaker was by attorney

Prabakar Page 2

Denise Billye Sander ’74 who was also the General counselor of General Alumni Association of Fisk University.
The guest speaker was Reverend Dr. William E. Flipping, Sr. ’74, who was a Senior Pastor of the Greater Piney Grove Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia. He seemed to be a great preacher and also had a great voice which got the sleepy audience awake. He spoke about his days at Fisk and about his call to the ministry. He wanted us to choose the path carefully.
Everyone applauded as the current Jubilee singers got on the stage. They were all dressed similar and as they began to sing, the audiences were quiet. They seemed to be interested in the song they were singing. It was the “This Little Light O’Mine” by John W. Work, 1895. Even though, I never had heard this song before, I assumed that it was quite a famous song when I heard my friends say that it was one of their favorite songs. The program continued by the installation of the 14th President, the Honorable Hazel R. O’Leary ’59. There were smiles all over in everyone’s face and I personally like her very much and I admire her a lot. She gave us a brief speech and everyone was very proud and excited for her.
Soon after that, the jubilee singers were back and this time, they sung, Elijah Rock by Arr.Moses Hogan. The song was fast and the facial expressions cracked up almost everyone. The Jubilee day prayer were leaded by Reverend Flipping and to the end the special day, the Gold and Blue was sung and I was so excited to sing after a long time. It was definitely a day to remember.

LOLZ I KNO ITZ TOTALLY TUPID ! HEHEH WUT DO U FINK I WUL GET AS A GRADE?? LOLZ A "C"?? I WUD B MORE DAN HABEE TO RECEIVE IT :D

2005-10-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

Dad and Katrina

So it wuz da weekend n mah dad wanted to spend sum quality "fatha daughta" tym...wateva so we decided to go fo a movie --> xcorism of emilie rose. I wuz drivin n my dad seemed to b in a gud mood so decided to start talkin abt me goin to New Orleanz to help out in Katrina Relief.

Me : So, dad....umm can i go to new orleanz this fall break??
Dad : we had alreadi discussed abt it
Me : But dad...Ms.Gilez told we wunt b goin to dangerous placez
Dad : No, u cant go...those mobz got gunz up der

**me finkin** where doez mah dad get all those tupid stuf !??

Me : **mad** dad...i aint gona talk me long to juz sign da paper lyk u !

**me n dad lukin at each otha** lolz **thn he turned away**

Dad : Yea, daz true...u alwayz do dat but u cant go to new orleanz..else im callin up mom

**me finkin** --> yea wateva...shez in india :D

Newayz y wuz i askin mah popz abt thiz?? i juz can leave ! afta all i got enuf money...$4000 aint enuf?? wel cud hav borrowed a lil frm mah bro...wut if mah dad blockz mah account n left me alone...i luked at him...nah..he wudnt do dat...afta all he knoz wut wul happen if he doez !! wel wateva ! dude ! i juz wuzh he cud leme go cuz i rele wana help.......

2005-09-29T19:37:00.000-07:00

Y m i shy?? Y dunt i talk much? Y m i crazy? Y do i cry? Y do i hate myself? Y do i envy othaz? Y do i luk down at me? Y do i feel ugly? Y do i feel pretty? Y do i feel down? Y m i mad? Y do i hate othaz? Y do i wana kill myself? Y do i feel sleepy all da tym? Y m i sick? Y dunt i respect my parents? Y do i luv my parents? Y do i care abt my broz? Y do i feel habee wen ntn happenz? Y do i take shower twice a dai? Is it bcuz i feel dirty inside me? Y do i fail in my classez? Y dunt i lysten in classez? Y do i daidream? Y do i lyk sumbodi dat doez not lyk me? Y do i care abt sumbodi dat finkz im funny n crazy, but stupid? Y dunt i wana eat healthy food? Y do i eat junk? Y dunt i xpress myself in person? Y do i xpress myself in rytin? Y do i hate rytin? Y do i hate poemz? Is it bcuz it hurtz me? Y do i cry a lot? Is it bcuz it makez me feel betta? Y did i hurt myself? Y dunt i hurt myself now? Y dunt i talk wut i wana talk? Y do ppl fink im shy? Y m i not outgoin? Y dunt my parentz ask me nethin? Y do they go behind my bak? Is it bcuz i shout at them? Is it bcuz i get mad? Y do i flirt a lot on net? Is it bcuz i dunt believe in luv? Y do i hate u? Y do i luv u?? Y do i lyk darkness?? Y m i surrounded by darkness? Y do ppl luk at me lyk im frm notha world? Y do i juz wana kill myself !!?

To b continued.....

2005-09-29T17:15:00.000-07:00

Smileys !

:-) -- Smile

:-( -- Sad

};-> - Devil

^5 -- High Five

:0 -- Shocked

%-} - Amused

:-* -- Oops

8) -- Froggy

:Q -- What

\-0 -- Bored

0:) -- Angel

:') -- Crying with joy

:() -- Can't stop crying

-0 -- Yawn

:-6 -- Exhausted

(:) -- Egg head

*8-) - Nerd

:,( -- Crying

:-& -- Tongue tied

:-@ - Screaming

-) -- Hee hee

%-) -- Confused

8-] -- Wow maan

:-\ -- Undecided

:-r -- Sticking tongue out

:-s -- Incoherant

:-{} -- Bowling a kiss

~:-0 - Baby

:-V -- Shouting

Lol guyz...did u lyk them??

2005-09-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

AQUARIUS WOMAN

OMG...ITZ JUZ ME !! EVERY SINGLE FING IS TRUE LOLZ NOW I BELEIVE IN THESE STUFFZ !

If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed. Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader , a real confident type. She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked. She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he has a chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her man's reaction, but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting her. She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society. She dare to fight for what she thinks belonged to her. Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone , she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word "Love". She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow. She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you. She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan". Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she is sad , be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that. You will not get bore with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave. She has many type of jobs because she beliefs what a man can do, I can do. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then you will be OK. If she mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of "pay Back" time. Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and will never bored you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

2005-09-24T17:17:00.000-07:00

Destiny's Child - Cater 2 U

Baby I See You Working Hard

I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,

Let You Know That I Admire What You Do

The More If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless

Without You (Yeah)

If I Want It (Got It)

When I Ask You (You Provide It)

You Inspire Me To Be Better

You Challenge Me For The Better

Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter

Let Me Help You

Take Off Your Shoes

Untie You Shoestrings

Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)

What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)

Let Me Feed You

Let Me Run Your Bathwater

Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire

Sing You A Song

Turn My Game On

I'll Brush Your Hair

Help Put Your Do Rag On

Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)

You Want A Manicure?

Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

Let Me Cater To You

Cause Baby This Is Your Day

Do Anything For My Man

Baby You Blow Me Away

I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much

Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You

Inspire Me From The Heart,

Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart

You're All That I Want In A Man;

I Put My Life In Your Hands

I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much

Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You

Baby I'm Happy You're Home,

Let Me Hold You In My Arms

I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You

Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)

Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)

If You Want It (I Got It)

Say The Word (I Will Try It)

I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)

No Other Woman Is Willing (Oh)

I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit

I Promise You (Promise You)

I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)

Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)

You Fell In Love With (Yeah)

I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right

I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits

When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over

Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm LovinIt)

If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy

All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy

I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here

That's The Least I Can Do,

Let Me Cater To You

Through The Good (Good)

The Bad (Through The Bad)

The Ups And Downs (Ups And Downs)

I'll Still Be Here For You

Let Me Cater To You

Cause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)

I Love The Way You Are (You Are)

Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)

Your Wish Is My Command (Command)

I Want To Cater To My Man

Your Heart (Your Heart)

So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)

The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)

So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)

I Want To Cater To My Man

2005-09-24T10:57:00.000-07:00

D.H.T

I know there’s something in the wake of your smile

I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah

you’ve built a love but that love falls apart

your little piece of heaven turns too dark

listen to your heart

when he’s calling for you

listen to your heart

there’s nothing else you can do

I don’t know where you’re going

and I don’t know why

but listen to your heart

before you tell him goodbye

sometimes you wonder if this fight is worth

whilethe precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah

they’re swept away and nothing is what is seems

the feeling of belonging to your dreams

listen to your heart

when he’s calling for you

listen to your heart

there’s nothing else you can do

I don’t know where you’re going

and I don’t know why

but listen to your heart

before you tell him goodbye

and there are voices

that want to be heard

so much to mention

but you can’t find the words

the scent of magic

the beauty that’s been

when love was wilder than the wind

listen to your heart

when he’s calling for you

listen to your heart

there’s nothing else you can do

I don’t know where you’re going

and I don’t know why

but listen to your heart

before you tell him goodbye

Listen to your heart....mm..mmm

I don’t know where you’re going

and I don’t know why

but listen to your heart

before you tell him goodbye

I gota lysten to thiz song everydai lolz duno y but i do lyk 5 tymz a dai !

2005-09-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

Lyf -- Part I

Ppl sai m

---> toooo mature fo a 16 yr old
---> toooo childish fo a 16 yr old

Childish --> daz wut im !

Mature --> i wuz made to b one

I rememba every single eventz on mah lyf...they had made a difference...difference in me. Yes, I think a lot. I think until I find an answer. Wen I wuz lil, n weneva I felt down, I used to crazy stuff lyk, cuttin my hand ( stul do it sumtymz ), tried to drink "so-called" poison ( neva worked, trust me, I alive ! ), get shock. It neva made me feel betta but I thought it did. I didnt seek fo help cuz I dint kno who to trust....

Later, I found out myself, dat it aint worth hurtin myself. I wuz alreadi being hurt by da ppl around me. They thought I wuz only a kid, but I rememba everythin. I went to a corner and weeeped tul I felt betta. I talked to mah dog. There myt hav been soo many ppl wulin to lysten to me, but wud they truly undastand mah feelingz? I neva told ne1 how I felt. Every1 around me fought fo money, land and ME.

I cudnt chose who I wanted to lyv wit. I cud only watch them fyt. Where were my parentz b4? Y dint they want me b4? Y did I hav to grow up wit mah grandparentz? N Y doez my parentz want me now?? Whoz fault wuz it? I had soo many ques which I cudnt ask ne1 but juz to figure it out by myself.

2005-09-22T17:33:00.000-07:00

Craziness

Priya...shez da nicest gurl i neva met...Oh-no, she wud do ntn lyk dat....shez precious...I hav been hearin thiz all mah lyf...I wuznt "suppose" to do "stuff". I dunt fink der wud b such a "nice" gurl around here but ppl believe "im". Atlast, I get a discipline warnin few daiz bak frm mah dorm director n every1 wuz surprised...wut every1 said wuz ---> "Ahhhh, Priya...is it fo u??" OMG ! itz me !! n yea, itz mah first tym ! or mayb thiz wai wud b appropriate ---> thiz is da first tym ne1 kne i had discipline "probz". N da first tym gettin fyned fo $200 !! Gettin warnin ---> fun part...gettin fyned ---> not cool. I kne I had no wai of escapin otha than payin dat shit, which I obviously dint wana ask mah dad nor mah bro....they wudnt b mad...they wudnt shout...more painer ---> they wud alwayz sai dat fo "fun" ! I decided to get a job, juz to pai off the $200. How wud I get a job?? I dint eva ask. I came to me. At da cafetria. They had held a "job" fo me since "summer". Y? I duno. I wuz cool. I dunt mind workin der. I wuz in. At da same dai, I wuz called in a "hearin". LOLZ neva thought it wud get choo serious. Newayz, I wuz called by mah dorm director. She dint greet each otha lyk we "used to". She told me ----> "Priya, Im soo surprised at u ! U want sumthin ?"

Surprise ppl ! guez wut i did !? I cant believe I did dat !! I cried !! My face wuz red n I cudnt stop cryin...My director came closer n asked me --? "honey, wutz wrong? y r u cryin? " I wuz lyk ---> "I neva got a discipline warnin b4" n continued cryin lolz I juz wana hav abt it. n she wuz lyk, "Umm, U kno wut, I can talk to mah boss abt it n tell him dat u r only 16 n u dint kno ne rulez n stuff but i cant promise u nethin"

My mouth opened wide. OMG ! dat wuz soo ezzz ! She asked me to cum da next dai. I wuz told dat I dint hav to bak da fyn !! Y wuz I not surprise ? :D I dunt hav to work *rollin eyez* Y isnt lyf fun fo me?? Y ppl lyk me choo much !? dunt they c da real me ?? dunt i hav ne1 who undastandz me?? Sum1 I can talk to u fo a while?? Y m i chweet? I kno im not --> da "chweetest"...but I cud only make ppl laugh...crak them up...eva tho they think im "special", I lyk them laughin upon my craziness.

2005-09-21T16:22:00.001-07:00

Y do ppl go to college?? "Sum" ppl go to get "higher" education..."Most" ppl go to get drunk n hav fun...wel me? I duno ! :( I duno wut im doin in a so-called college...I feel lyk i dunt belong here...da reason ppl suggested :

1. U r homesick --- Y wud i b homesick?? my parentz cum to c me almost everydai !
2. Mayb cuz ur gradez dropped --- yea, duh !! cuz i dunt feel lyk studyin !
3. Mayb u r too young, shud tak a break ! --- rrryyyttteeeee, i neva felt doin non cuz of mah age...n ofcourse i aint gona tak a break cuz thn i wul bcum toooooo dumb !!
4. Mayb cuz im in a black college --- Ahan, now racez...I met sum of da nicest ppl here !

N more of those...Im confused...n I hav no1 who can undastand n teme wutz goin on ! :S I wudnt tell mah parentz dat I aint lykin mah college fo no reason ! How can parentz think their kidz r da smartest on earth !? How can profz tell da all indianz r smart !? Ooo wel, they kno now !! My gradez been dropppin n I been fallin sick....I wuzh sum1 cud juz hold me.....